SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING!

         Relationships if you have never been in one then you would not know how overplayed they are consequently falling for the horse and pony show, the gimmicks that lead you longing for your happy ending and the novel adventure where it is all about him whisking you off your feet, both of you  riding into the sunset, the perfect partner who never does anything wrong: remembers your birthday, takes you for dinners ,holds your hands in the streets, kisses your forehead before you part, calls in the morning to tell you that he dreamt of you. In a nutshell this person’s world revolves on your axis and you love it that way.

        Then you went ahead and dated and it was all that and more, everything you had ever dreamed of but unfortunately that does not go on forever, you were duped on the duration that lasts for. Totally and completely! The romantic evening, the walk in the parks, the midday calls the surprise messages conveying his undying love, the pillow talk will not characterize your relationship it marks the beginning it is sought of like that Swahili poem we used to recite…”mgeni siku ya kwanza” where the special treatment for the visitor keeps deteriorating to the point of the visitor being sent to the farm to join the rest of the household in their efforts to bring something on the table! So shall your relationship follow!

   In relationships all the variables are not constant as they said in your mathematics class, they keep varying the equation keeps changing and some variables replaced with new ones making the equation difficult to solve. The new variables may not be as accommodating as the previous ones, the new variables being, falling-out, irksomeness, competition, forgetfulness, mind games .Welcome to a real life relationship you will soon be a certified partner if you are patient enough to enter into the next phase.

All this can be quit overwhelming for those of us who get caught up in the first phase of the relationship where everything works perfectly and all you have to do is sit back and let things fall into there place where they usually did. Most women fall victim to that phase as they were the prey and he was the hunter. It feels like the tables have turned and your getting a raw deal. Almost like you were tricked into falling for this guy and when you did he wanted out but it is only normal, getting used to earth when you were in heaven may need great adjusting.

For many people the first conclusion, is that there partners have lost interest, might be seeing some one else, has done a 360 degrees change on them and they just do not know who this new person is and so forth, but look at it this way, the beginning of a relationship is like acquiring a house once you have sacrificed, saved up and eventually bought it, all you have to do is move in and incur simple maintenance costs or like mountain climbing once you have worked your way to the top then you have to rest and unlike like a business  where the first goal is to breakeven and after work your way to improving the profits and become the market leader unfortunately most of us think  of it as the latter. In essence you have not been tricked but the forces of nature have channeled your relationship to the inevitable second phase where things are a tad different from how you have known them and here the real relationship begins.

       Let us not get things twisted, It does not mean that fairy tales do not exist or so much for your happy ending but it means that you now have to work for it. After the forehead kiss fades to a normal greeting, after the pillow talk narrows down to loud silence and Mr. perfect does not seem so perfect anymore then the work begins the work to put that relationship to its previous position because relationships are not all wine and roses it is going to be more than that meaning more work before you finally get your fairy tale happy ending.